Break the Silence to the Bad Chapters in your Life

Hola Simplies,

Let’s talk about a slow internal death called Silence.

I was talking with a friend about my past, and they shared their thoughts. I sighed and smiled because the words spoken to me are the words many of us suffer in silence, fighting unspoken battles. It’s a shame that others or society feel the need to add a label on everything or everyone.

Why, because they don’t understand our why, only theirs.

Why didn’t you just leave or stop it?

Why are you acting like a victim because you’re still there?

Why do you come crying to me just to go back?

Sadly, I know this all too well because I was that person asking the ‘why’. I remember hearing about others or from others to only think “That could never be me…”. Looking at them, judging off the little I heard, because I didn’t or couldn’t understand their ‘why’.

Man, life lessons are a hard slap in the face as I found myself in some of those “could never be me…” situations.

I would have never imagined I would have had some of the chapters in my life story. While going through them, my pain didn’t allow me to see any lessons or anything good from all this. Instead, what was left behind was me feeling not enough for anyone to love, want, or even desire me.

I can confidently say that WE ALL experienced bad chapters in our lives. Maybe not the same experiences, but still bad chapters. Some of us don’t even call ourselves a victim.  I, for one, don’t call myself a victim of my silent battles. I think of myself as a warrior because those battles did not defeat me, they only strengthened me for my war (story) did not, nor will not stop there.

We share these bad chapters, hoping the next person in our lives will embrace our whys to understand us. To understand why we may not trust easily. To understand why we think the way we do. To understand why we have the triggers we do. To understand why love may be scary to us.

Also, we share to help embrace the next woman we cross paths with who might be questioning her identity, existence, or purpose because of these bad chapters. To let them know, we understand. We understand the time it takes to heal. The steps it takes to leave and start over. We understand the pain it caused/causes you to question your existence. The lies that repeat over and over in your head. We understand the internal scars unseen by the eyes. Even the hidden ones you don’t want to be seen. We understand the silence for fear of being judged. The feeling of isolation because they won’t understand.

Now, I (unfortunately) know the why and it has made me more open-minded when others share their experiences with me; even if I don’t understand, I do/did understand the courage it took/takes for them to break their silence.

If you know, then you know, it’s not easy or quick to heal. Read about my own shared experiences in Painful Self-Journey of Losing Hope to Healing Until…. 

Silence can be very deadly. Not in the physical sense of death, although it can be. Sometimes we fight in silence, too well, that others will be in shock after hearing our story or testimony. This is why I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself mentally. I will even dare to say it’s the most important health we have. Don’t get me wrong, ALL HEALTH is vital to our existence, but without a sound mind, how can anyone even think? To think of getting physically healthy. To think of trying to do better. To think of wanting more. Simply, to think anything positive to send a ripple effect out.

As they say, ‘It’s a mindset’ or ‘It’s all in your head’ …Well, there is definitely some truth to that.

This is why (again) mental health is important!!!

For the spiritual side, the enemy will love nothing more than to make you believe those lies in your head. Pray for strength, guidance, comfort, wisdom, healing, and the truth.

During my past bad chapters, I finally took a step towards my mental health by seeing a counselor. I wish I had continued my sessions, but for the time I went, it did help me to talk to someone outside of friends and family. I just needed to hear some unbiased advice, guidance, and/or perspectives. Not to say that your family or friends can’t give you great words of encouragement or comfort, because I trust that I’m blessed and grateful for my circle. Only God knows where I would be or what I would have done without them and my Faith. 

So, even though not everyone will understand my bad chapters of life, that reason will no longer keep me fighting in silence. I will continue to share my story with my voice, speaking my truth…